Gratuitous Common Sense

And do you know who grew me? The Bush Administration. That’s right. I am a homegrown terrorist, thanks to the for-profit entity currently occupying the executive branch of our government - BushCo.

But they won’t get blamed for their malfeasance… I will. They planted the seed, they plowed the field, and they made sure I (and others like me) had plenty of sustenance upon which to feed. And now, with the help of the other party that controls the government, the responsibility for cultivating this brand of terrorism will rest squarely on my shoulders.

I am a homegrown terrorist.

Doesn’t quite seem fair, does it?

In a previous post, in the process of describing the unprecedented power claimed by the current administration, I made a passing mention of the fact that we were only “one rubber-stamped, unread law away from instituting the thought police.” At the time, I must reluctantly admit, I was completely unaware of the existence of H.R. 1955, and the fact that it had almost unanimously passed the House vote a month earlier. This is a bill sponsored by a democrat, a California democrat no less, a member of the same party that has derided the USA Patriot Act for its encroachment on civil liberties and abuse of power. I know they didn’t read the Patriot Act, but what’s going to be their insufficient excuse for this piece of shit? You can’t try to excuse your vote for it if you wrote the damn thing!

But I digress…

I am a homegrown terrorist, as defined in the Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act of 2007:

The term `homegrown terrorism’ means the use, planned use, or threatened use, of force or violence by a group or individual born, raised, or based and operating primarily within the United States or any possession of the United States to intimidate or coerce the United States government, the civilian population of the United States, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives.

I state here, unequivocally, that I am an individual born, raised, and operating primarily within the United States. I also state that I am purposefully and willingly threatening the United States government with the use of force and violence in and effort to intimidate them and coerce them in furtherance my political objective of protecting the Constitution of the United States.

In case I’m not being clear enough, let’s have just one example. If a government employee attempts to enter my house, procure my papers or effects, or in any way touch me or my property, whether it be owned or leased by me, without a warrant issued by a court or probable cause to do so, I am actively planning and threatening the use of force in defense of my political agenda that includes coercing and intimidating them into obeying the limits set by the 4th Amendment to the United States Constitution.

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“Every war, when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac.”

“The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.”

- George Orwell

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Actually… no… no it doesn’t.

So nevermind.

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That’s what the “Generals on the ground” (i.e. the voices in Bush’s head that he has been listening to so intently for 4 years) are trying to do to this administration’s dreams for Iraq. Their hubris, their resolve, their misguided preordained righteousness. Like any bad habit, it’s an addiction that will be difficult to break, even for those whom the decider has promised to listen to.

Nightmarish political realities in Baghdad are prompting American officials to curb their vision for democracy in Iraq. Instead, the officials now say they are willing to settle for a government that functions and can bring security.

In other words, settle for the government that Saddam had in place. Perhaps? Just maybe? I’m willing to bet they’d take that trade-off at this point. I’m not saying Iraq would be better off with Saddam still there, it’s just odd that his government meets the qualifications of what they’re willing to settle for now. Oh, if only they could have 1980’s Saddam back, wouldn’t that be dreamy.

This would be funny it weren’t so fucking late… by about 84 years. And if it wasn’t just another nail in the coffin for the rose-colored predictions that the Bush administration got absolutely 180 degrees dead wrong, it might even qualify as ironic.

I might even be dumb enough to think it will have an effect on this administration’s policies if I hadn’t already seen the video of 1994 Cheney telling us that these exact circumstances would exist in Iraq if we “liberated” them. If I wasn’t so sure that they’d trumpet the old “9-11 changed everything” slogan right in the face of perfect evidence that it, in fact, did not, then it might be worth it to hope that the habit can be curbed.

But it’s not.

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Another gem from the “Impossible to Predict” Department…

Are we through with this mess yet? Are we really going to endure this “evaluation period” for 3 more months?

It never ceases to amaze me how much our president reminds me of a 6 year old. He’s been told to stop playing the video game, repeatedly. “5 more minutes,” he negotiates without taking his eyes off the screen. And Congress, like the pushover parent that should’ve bent him over her knee a long time ago, acquiesces. No doubt, his threat to throw a presidential-sized tantrum made the passive parents avoid the confrontation.

But now he’s been told to stop again, this time by some (republican) parents that he usually respects. Will this make him stop?

Can we please stop using our troops as some sort of cover that’s supposedly keeping the terrorists from coming here?

Can we please stop putting them in harm’s way just for the sake of having them in harm’s way?

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Cannot… compute… head… hurts…

This is one of many questions from a survey by Newsweek, conducted June 18-19, 2007. Yes, 2007! The people who answered this question are over 18, and part of the voting public.

Yes, that’s a warning.

Not only are 41% of people completely ignorant, but that’s up 5% since 2004.

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“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable an ignorable war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.”

- Albert Einstein

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Calvin and Hobbes has always been one of my favorite comic strips. When I saw this particular comic, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the movie War Games, in which “Joshua” simulates a game of Thermonuclear War (Tic-Tac-Toe) with itself where there is never a winner.

Click the pic for a larger view.

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I thought it best to round up some Anti-War quotes that center on the President’s decision to commit our troops to a long ill-defined conflict on foreign soil. As we all know, the Neocons like to consistently paint these people as Anti-American.

I have decided to gather some quotes that are indicative of the sentiments of the anti-war people and politicians. Then I will thoroughly and conclusively demonstrate why they are not Anti-American.

1. “You can support the troops but not the president.”
2. “Well, I just think it’s a bad idea. What’s going to happen is they’re going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years.”
3. “[The] President . . . is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation’s armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy.”
4. “American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy.”
5. “I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning… I didn’t think we had done enough in the diplomatic area.”
6. “I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered. There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep. There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our over-extended military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this thing, and there still is no plan today.”
7. “If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy.”
8. “Victory means exit strategy, and it’s important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is.”

As I mentioned above, I am going to show you why these people are not Anti-American. Read the rest of this entry »

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Last week I was baking a cake. OK, not really. But it’s a metaphor, so I was. I was baking a cake. I had my recipe laid out in front of me, I had all my ingredients on the table ready to be mixed, and I had gotten permission to use the oven for the next few hours, as my wife doesn’t like me to commandeer the oven for so long without notifying her first. And this is a big important cake, so it takes quite a while to bake.

So I punch a few buttons on the oven to get it preheated to the right temperature. Then I proceed to mix everything together in a huge pan, like the recipe says, and I throw it in the oven. To keep track of how things are going, I watch it closely. But not too closely, because I know that the baking process can be long and arduous, and sometimes ugly. All the heat and the melting of ingredients, fusing together and rising from mere cake batter… it’s bound to get ugly. But I know that it will be nice and pretty when everything is said and done.

Oh, I’m so excited! It’s a blend of chocolate and vanilla, with a few nuts and an ice cream center. I know what you’re thinking, ‘you can’t put ice cream in an oven, it will never work’. But just you watch. It’ll be great.

My significant other, though, doesn’t seem to understand the process. While we’re watching the cake, she keeps pointing out that I must have done something wrong, because the cake batter is sporadically exploding and leaving remnants all over the oven. Sometimes the exploding batter hits the oven window, and obscures our view.

“Do you know what a mess this is going to be to clean up? I’m already having to wipe the batter off the window just so I can see,” she exclaims.

I try to calm her fears, “It’s a long and difficult process for this cake. But there is progress, look how the batter is still rising. This cake will be beautiful when it’s done.”

She keeps bringing it up, every time there is an explosion, no matter how big or small. It begins to get annoying, and I wish she would just leave me alone. Then, she tried to ask me when it was going to be done, but I don’t have time for such trivial matters.

“It’ll be done when it’s done,” I said.

And just as I had predicted, progress continued. The batter continued to rise and eventually plumped up nicely over the edge of the pan. Just enough to where you could tell it was going to be great! The batter had risen, and the doughy center was beginning to form a soft, spongy base. Sure the explosions were becoming more frequent, but I took it as a sign that the cake was succeeding. I mean, the two things were so perfectly correlated, how could anyone deny the connection?

I had the icing out, and I was ready to spread it across the monstrous cake in a celebration of monumental accomplishment.

Then disaster struck… in a manner that no one could have predicted. The center of the cake collapsed, and brought everything else down with it. The chocolate and vanilla separated and you could see the ice cream (now melted ) spreading across the bottom of the pan. I looked over at my significant other, and I could tell she was doing everything she could to refrain from saying ‘I told you so.’

I thought, for a moment, that maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe it’s just part of the process. I looked at the recipe again. And lo and behold, the recipe didn’t say anything about it not happening, so we must keep going until the cake is finished. I’m an optimist, by nature. And I’m strong, and resolute. I don’t quit! My job is done when it’s done.

My significant other chimes in

“Uh, maybe we should think about other options or perhaps–”

“Stay the course!” I said.

I didn’t have time for her defeatist nonsense. Stupid quitter! Weak and pessimistic are not the qualities we need in our cooks right now. I have the qualities that are needed to see this cake through to the end and she was really starting to get on my nerves.
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