I’ve haven’t been writing much recently, and when I have it’s been increasingly political. It’s an exercise in futility to try to inject common sense into politics, so it’s time to get back to basics.

What are some other common sense things that I could write about? Just to get the wheels spinning, let’s go with a random list of things you should know if you’re old enough to have pubic hair…

General Stuff

  • The word “utilize” is just about entirely and universally unnecessary.
  • Respect is earned… and easily lost when it’s only given because of your age.
  • The promotion of Restless Legs Syndrome is a prime example of disease mongering. In matters of personal health, it’s best to consider the source and their vested interest in supplying the health information.
  • There is an enormous difference between trust and faith, you would do well to learn it.

Fashion

  • Axe body spray makes you smell like shit when you basically shower in it.
  • Popped Collars have an inverse relationship with level of intelligence.
  • Crocs are not meant to be worn in public. The only thing they go with is involuntary abstinence.

Academics

  • Evolution is real… I know, because Noah didn’t have this thing on his boat.
  • Numbers are not interchangeable with words in your sentences… “4″ is not an acceptable abbreviation of “for”.
  • Just because there are two sides to every issue doesn’t mean that both sides are equal.

Driving

  • The left lane is for passing ONLY. If you’re not passing someone, you don’t belong there.
  • The on-ramp is for accelerating, not coasting.
  • If you’re talking on your phone, you shouldn’t be driving. Period.
  • If you’re texting and driving, then any attempt on your life is justifiable homicide.

Religion

  • Santa Claus is real… all you need is faith.
  • Xenu is real… all you need is faith.
  • Jesus was not born in December… The Christians arbitrarily put it there to steal the celebration from the Pagans and profit off its popularity.
  • See the quote adorning the top of the page.

Money

  • $150 is too much to spend on shoes if you, or anyone older than you in your family, relies on an hourly wage for their primary source of income.
  • Chances are, you have no idea about economic, monetary, or fiscal management even though it affects everything you do.
  • Emergencies aside, your credit card debt is, most likely, all your fault.

Ahhh, now that feels good. All that common sense purged from my brain. It’s so… refreshing.

Of course, it’s not an exhaustive list, but it makes me feel better. And really, isn’t that what a blog is all about?

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