Jesus Can Use Email!
Ramblings, Religion, Atheism, Hell November 9th. 2007, 8:49pmAs you might imagine, I get a lot of hate mail. Jesus Fucking Christ even took the time to tell me himself.
Your site is horrible, and My Dad and I will damn you to Hell because of it.
Peace be with you.
- Caucasian Jesus
Now, I usually try not to link to any Jesus loving sites. But I figured I’d make an exception here since I now have confirmation that I’m going to Hell.
Personally, I think Jesus should feel pretty lucky that I am not only posting his vile email, but also linking to his fucking site. If all those disciples were right, then forgiveness is undoubtedly in my future.
What’s really odd is that I didn’t even have to pray to get Him to talk to me. I mean, some people spend their whole lives on their knees, hoping to be touched by his noodly appendage. Or was it ‘his word’?
I don’t remember. Who cares?
The point is, I’m well on my way to feeling his love, and there’s nothing any of you fucking church-goers can do about it.


November 9th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Chris,
You’ve restored my faith in you!
November 10th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
My Son, I behold you in My lap. Penetrating you sweetly. I forgive you, and have arranged Michael the Archangel to bone you at the pearly gates.
Love,
Caucasian Jesus
November 11th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Ah yes.
I can definitely feel the love.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
Well whoever that guy is impersonating me..jesus..is stupid! I..I’m sure he.. loves this Chris fella, he does make some good points.
-Jesus…father damn me! ..some guy.